


Where Is My Mind

by sweetkidd



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, One-sided pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 04:01:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8431129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetkidd/pseuds/sweetkidd
Summary: A mysterious gift shows up for Team Rainbow. Pulse deals with the discovery of Blitz and Bandit's "relationship".





	

There’s a small scare that happens a few weeks after “the operation”. White Masks send a message to a local PD in New York. A box labeled FRAGILE with a canister inside along with a handwritten letter in cursive. Luckily the person who handled the box had immediately evacuated the building and the bomb squad had been called. The canister had been sent to Hereford for an “unknown” reason, but Jack knew better. James Porter was the resident chemist, and had been recruited “mysteriously”. He always boasted that he’d defected from the White Masks, but Porter had been caught red handed. He was SAS now, tied by camaraderie to his team and was even social with many of the other operators. Though the French upturned their noses to him and “Mute” never interacted with him, working alongside Porter was key to trust between the teams. After all, if they could trust a defector, then they could truly trust each other.

“Had time to examine the canister yet?” Jack asks, arms crossed and his shades in place. It’s interesting, seeing Porter out of his SAS gear, or not even dressed in fatigues, but rather wearing a white lab coat, gloves, and plastic protective eyewear. He wasn’t the only one in the room either. Mike, Gilles, Elias and Maxim were all waiting for information.

“Yup. Cannister ain’t got a smidge o’ gas in it. Empty.” Jack frowned. Mike spoke up.

“What’s your take on it?”

“Scare tactic most likely. Haven’t made a move in quite a while, dun want the world tah forget.”

“Could this possibly be a distraction?” Gilles asked.

“Dunno. Maybe. Maybe not. Won’t know till sumthin’ ‘appens now, won't we?” Jack watches as Elias’ lips form a thin line and his arms come up to his chest. There’s a look of annoyance there, something else too, an emotion Jack can’t quite pin down. Frustration?

“Either way, both teams ready at a moment's notice. Don’t wanna get caught with our trousers down. Dismissed.” Mike waved a hand in the air, as if they needed another sign to leave. He obviously wanted time with Porter, most likely to speak to him in private. Each leader left, all of them walking back towards the dormitories and they would have to debrief their own teams, tell them to be on standby and to wait for orders. No one liked doing that, no one liked the uneasiness of waiting, especially the Russians. Jack could tell from their faces, the way their mouths tightened, their fingers always itching for something. Their hands were always wringing themselves, and they were always hunched over, eyes focused and ready. Everyone else could wait, keep calm, and so could Estrada himself.

As they entered the dorms, many of the teams were waiting, and Jack couldn’t help but notice that Brunsmeier was first to get up, was first to go to Elias’ side, was first to ask what happened and put a hand on Elias’ arm. The touch was gentle, soft, caring and Jack hated it. He pushed past the others, some of them glaring at his back as he did so and he quickly reported to stay ready and keep their ears open. Nothing was happening anytime soon.

“Something the matter, Estrada?” Miles asked and Jack could feel that his brows had been knitted as if he was straining hard on concentrating.

“Nothing. Headache.” Jack looked to Jordan and could see immediately he didn’t believe the lie. Fuck, they would be talking later wouldn’t they? Jack dismissed the team before heading back towards the American’s dorm. He planned on going to the indoor gymnasium, finding a few of the recruits to challenge on the wrestling mat. But Jordan had already poked his head in by the time Jack had grabbed his things.

“What’s up Jack? C’mon, I saw what you did to the others, knocking ‘em over and shit.”

“There isn’t anything wrong, Jordan. I just wanna go and practice alright?” Jack slacked his shoulders, his posture giving way to a man who was obviously tired of training, but just wanting to get something done.

“Where you headed to? I’ll join.” Jordan was quick to hop into the room and grab anything that was at arm's length before Jack ran off on him. Sighing heavily, Jack rolled his eyes and turned to face Jordan.

“I’m headed to the gym. Gonna show a few of those recruits how to wrestle properly.” Jack grinned, hiding his frustration with Jordan.

“Then I’ll join you. Haven't gone a round or two with you in awhile.”

“Your funeral.” Jack murmured.

“Can’t spell funeral without ‘fun’.” Jack groaned and left the room before another one of Jordan’s jokes could inflict damage.

  
  


Jack gave a heavy grunt as his arms wrapped around Jordan’s torso and he pushed with all his strength. Sweat already coated the both of them, soaking the white tank he was wearing. The rubber soles of Jack’s shoes squeaked against the mat and he sucked in air for one finally push. If he could get Jordan out the ring, that would be it.

“I’m taking you down, Estrada.” Jordan said through clenched teeth. Jack could feel Jordan’s hands strategically shifting on his body, looking for a weak spot. Jack grunted and pushed, using his legs as much as he could and he felt Jordan’s body give. One more push, one more grunt and Jack was practically lifting Jordan off the mat and out of the ring. Jordan landed on his back with a heavy grunt and Jack landed on top of him, letting out a small ‘oof’. Both men stayed like that for a few minutes, not caring about the multiple stares from recruits. Jordan chuckled before swatting playfully at Jack’s head, making Jack roll off of him and onto his back.

“Really need to work on those emotions of yours.” Jordan said, panting in between words.

“What makes you say that?”

“C’mon, Estrada. You’ve been tense ever since you came back from that meeting. What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jack groaned before flipping over and pushing off of the ground. He didn’t really want to talk about this right now, here in the gym of all places.

“Nothing, Jordan just drop it.”

“Jeez, look at you. Your shoulders are tighter than Hereford’s regulations on alcohol.”

“Shut it, Trace.” That’s what did it. Jack hardly ever used Jordan’s last name, and the last time he did their ‘talk’ had ended with Jack breaking Jordan’s nose. Jordan was silent as he lifted himself off the mat. He muttered something about going to the showers to wash up and was quick to leave Jack to fume by himself.

He’d come here to get his mind off of things, dammit, not to be reminded of why he was upset in the first place. Jack’s eyes roamed from recruit to recruit, each one busy with their own training regimen. He wondered what they would do if they were in his place. Sighing, he left the gym, towel draped over his shoulders and with his mind still cluttered. He thought about going to the showers, but he didn’t want to face Jordan again and instead decided to busy his mind once more. Showing up to the shooting range with a little sweat was common, and most of the team did it after their daily run. He requested the usual 5.7 USG, the RCO not blinking an eye to Jack’s appearance. He set up his target, and luckily today the sun was shining bright enough to provide a little warmth. Jack assumed his stance, two hands on the pistol, his shoulders squared and his feet planted evenly beneath him.

One shot. He thinks about Elias. Two shots. Thinks about Elias taking care of him about a month ago. Three shots. Thinks about Dominic and the way he touches Elias’ arm. Each shot is fired with precision, right into the chest, but the third strays. Right through the left side, where a lung would be. It’s not what Jack is aiming for but his grip on the pistol has tightened somewhat. Deep breath, he thinks and fires off another shot. Fourth shot. Elias’ smile. Fifth shot. Elias’ laugh. Sixth shot. Dominic and his hands under Elias’ shirt. Jack bites his lower lip and forces himself to concentrate. Shot number eight comes with thoughts of Elias and Dominic tumbling in bed together and it completely misses its target. The shot is fired, inches away from the head of the target and Jack drops the gun to his side. He’s still got 12 more shots, but he can’t concentrate, not like this. Not with Elias at the forefront.

“Something the matter, Herr Estrada?” Jack turns, quicker than he wanted to and Elias is standing there, blue eyed and all innocent. Jealousy is an emotion that quickly jumps up into Jack’s throat, but he’s always practiced restraint and hopefully it pays off now.

“Seems to be the million dollar question doesn’t it?” Jack joked but Elias simply tilted his head, puzzled.

“I’m sorry?”

“Nothing.” Jack shook his head before setting the gun down onto the table.

“Having a bit of trouble are we?” Jack notices Elias’ eyes drift towards the target and he feels a slight bit of embarrassment.

“Lot on my mind lately. Been having a hard time concentrating.”

“Then we should correct that.” Elias is quick to move to his side, pick up the gun and even check to see if it’s loaded. He slides the weapon into Jack’s hand.

“What’re you doing?”

“Show me how you shoot.” He’s too close, Jack thinks.

“I know how to shoot Elias.”

“That’s not what I asked. Show me how you shoot.” Jack sighs before taking his stance and raising the gun. If Elias wanted a show then he’d give him one. Jack breathed and as he laid his finger on the trigger, a warmer body pressed against his back. Arms wrapped around and took Jack’s hands. Jack could feel his heart beat faster and his body immediately stiffened.

“Elias…”

“You’re too tense. You need to relax, breathe some more. Through your nose.” Elias’ hands tried to adjust Jack’s, his feet kicking open Jack’s stance a little more. Elias’ chest was pressed directly against Jack’s back and even though there’s a slight height difference between them, Elias somehow still manages to breathe on Jack’s neck. Elias’ finger wraps around the trigger and Jack snaps back into concentration. Both of them fire off a few shots, and each shot is considerably closer to each other. Barely an inch of difference and when Elias pulls away, Jack lets out a sigh.

“Better than before. Thanks.” Jack says before setting the pistol onto the table.

“You seem disappointed.” Maybe Jack does feel a little disappointment. The fact that he can’t get Elias out of his head, that the thought of Elias and Dominic together is tripping him up, making him miss even simple shots on targets.

“No, not disappointed. There’s just been a lot on my mind. The White Masks, this canister we just got.”

“It’s a lot, I understand. But one has to remain diligent, keep the mind sharp. If you prefer, I found a chess board in one of the rec room closets. Would you like to play?” Elias’ smile is enough to make Jack smile back, the corners of his mouth tugging slightly.

“Perhaps another day. I should shower up. Get ready for dinner.”

“True, you are quite...ripe.” Elias’ smirk catches Jack off guard because Jack could tell, it wasn’t disgust in Elias’ eyes. But with that smirk, Elias turned and left the range and Jack was left standing there, confusion and his thoughts going back and forth. This didn’t make sense to him. He didn’t understand because if Elias showed interest in him then why was he with Dominic? Why did they sneak into that room? Weren’t they boyfriends, lovers even? It didn’t fucking make sense.

  
  


The showers were practically empty, save for one person who was occupying the far corner of the room. Most of the operators and recruits took their showers right after morning PT, but the one person left occupying the room was Baker. Jack always noticed he took his showers at night, by himself. He wondered if Baker enjoyed the alone time, probably the one time he got to hear his own thoughts and didn’t have to listen to the complaining voice of Porter.

Jack was courteous enough to make a few loud sounds, announce his presence at least. He didn’t feel like talking. He stripped in the lockers before tossing sweat stained clothes into his personal locker. The towel hung low from his hips as he walked back towards the showers, bar of soap in hand. He barely caught of glimpse of Baker’s back as he walked away, still dripping wet but fully dressed. Jack didn’t know what that was about, but instead he let the towel drop from his waist and onto the floor, it wasn’t like anyone was going to be complaining about it. He started the shower, letting the cold water slowly turn warm, and he stepped underneath the spray of water, groaning at the feel of hot water soothing his sore muscles. Steam slowly rose around him, and he could feel himself breathe easier. Jack took a deep breath and let all the tension ease out of his shoulders, his spine relaxed and shoulders went lax. Tension melted from him and Jack let his thoughts slip out of his mind and stood there, warm water cascading down his body.

He couldn’t help himself from thinking about Elias, wondering how that strong and muscled physique would feel pressed against his. Jack hummed softly, his hand drifting over the flat plan of his muscled stomach. He thought about the time he and Elias had spent in bed together, sleeping under warm sheets and waking up to each other. Jack thought what would’ve happened if they had kissed. If Elias’ lips pressed against his. Jack let his hand wander further down and gasped softly when he realized how hard he was. He gripped his cock, gave a slow and soft tug, and shuddered. He placed one hand against the tiled wall of the showers and used it to balance himself. Jack continued the slow pace, wanting to drag it out as long as possible, while his mind filled up with images of Elias. He thought about the multiple times his eyes had wandered in the shower, the well-toned back, the muscle in Elias’ shoulders and how toned his legs and ass were. What would it be like, to have that body on top of him, Jack thought. To have Elias ease onto him, slowly and carefully. What would his moan sound like, and more importantly, would he look Jack in the eyes? He stroked faster, thinking about the sounds Elias would make, the muscles that would contract with every thrust and stroke. Jack moaned, the sound reverberating off the walls of the showers.

“Fuck.” He gritted out and the last thing he thought of before coming, was Elias’ bright blue eyes and the soft smile he had. He thought about the soft glow of his face and how he’d look sprawled out on a bed, ass in the air with Jack’s come dripping out of it. Tiny beads of sweat rolling down his spine and Jack reveled in bliss, his body tightening and stomach muscles flexing as he squeezed the head of his cock. The last of his come leaked out, dribbling onto the floor and with a heavy sigh, Jack leaned into the wall, his muscles relaxing once more as warm water enveloped him.

“Fuck.” He said again before gathering his bearings and standing tall. He shut the water off, but not before wiping away the evidence, and walked back towards his towel on the ground. In silence he dried himself before dressing in clean clothes and walking back out into the crisp, cool air. Jack shivered as the cold night air hit his skin and goosebumps formed on his arms. He’ll go back to his room, hopefully, won’t wake the others, and try and get himself to sleep. As Jack disappeared into the Rec room, Dominic watched from afar before lighting up a cigarette.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure you're confused at the beginning. I have two different Head Canons for Smoke. One being the original from the Bio within the game. The second is basically the Bio, but instead of military, Smoke was recruited into the White Masks Terrorist organization. This was a small theory that I'd seen others talk about since Smoke's gas was very similar to the WM's gas. So during my writing of this fic and how long it grows into (who knows?!), this will be set during a place of time where Smoke was indeed a WM Terrorist.
> 
> Sorry this took so long. You know...to anyone actually reading these. Critique always welcome.


End file.
